Screamtime (1983)

A couple of jabronis steal a bunch of VHS tapes from a video store and beat it to this chick's apartment, where she just conveniently happens to be taking a shower. Jabroni number 1 informs her they will be watching the purloined videos at her place, then raids her refrigerator for some chicken and Budweiser. All three sit down on the couch and he puts in the video tape, which goes right into story number one, which involves...

A henpecked children's entertainer who is bullied by everyone, including his punk-ass stepson and his gang of droogies, is pushed too far when they destroy the puppets he loves. It's hard not to hope he won't use his puppets to get revenge on the lot of them. Is he crushed by a garbage truck because he's kind of a ninny and gets bitch-slapped by his stepson's girlfriend? Probably.

Let's face it, the only thing you're going to remember from the second story is this woman's awful glasses. We all know why you're here, anyway. The garden gnome story. So, go ahead and fast forward through story number two, a snoozer about an apparition on a bicycle, and let's get to story number 3. 

Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes!

Don't mess with little old English ladies' garden gnomes, if you know what's good for you. Screamtime. An interesting aspect of this movie is the three shorts are all British, while the wrap-around story is shot in New York. Good ending. You won't hate me for recommending this if you're a horror fan.




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Humongous (1982): Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews

Humongous is a 1982 horror film which receives a 3.3 star rating out of ten at IMDB. It's either completely deserving or undeserving of that rating based on how you feel about this photo...

Humongous begins on Labour Day 1946

A bad photo, you say? Nope. Not really. This is what most of the movie looks like. I can tell you something interesting and horrible occurs in the setting depicted in this picture, but if you watch Humongous, you're not going to see most of it. If soft focus and darkness doesn't bother you, let's proceed...

Humongous movie poster

Mostly accurate. Something is loose in this movie. I'll divulge this: Humongous is a movie in the forsaken, desolate, derelict places genre. If that is a genre at all. To me it is, and in that genre movies like The Shining and Session 9 are two of the best examples, but I've recently discovered lesser gnown gems like Ghostkeeper, Warlock Moon, and Screams Of a Winter Night. This movie has the added bonus derelict places features of...

Typical muddied shot from the movie

Being shot on an actual island, and an island in Canada. They could have shot it in the director's apartment for all you'll know because you can't see any of it, which will be simultaneously frustrating, but somewhat fascinating in the sense that you'll never come away from this place with a clear picture of what just happened. I actually kind of like that and think it adds something to a pretty interesting movie. 

Gratuitous boobies...

Humongous Descending a Staircase. In sum, a unique movie (or else I wouldn't have bothered). Frustrating as hell to watch, but worth it for real horror fans.

More Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews

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