Magic Mouth In the Sun Sayeth The Slack

I don't know any more about slack, or what it is, or where it comes from, than you do. I'm similarly mystified by the magic mouth. I picture this classic rendition of a magic mouth spouting off the lyrics from the Car's song "Gimme Some Slack." 

Gimme Some Slack

I want to shake like Liguardia

Magic mouth in the sun

Train ride to the courtyard

Before you can run

Down at the end of Lonely Street

Where no one takes a walk

Someone lyin' at your feet

And someone's gettin' off

Just gimme some slack, yeah

Just gimme some slack

Just gimme, slack

That's all I want is slack

The seven floors of walkup

The odor musted cracks

And the peeping keyhole introverts

With the monkeys on their backs

And the rooftops strung with frauleins

The pastel pinned up sails

The eighteen color roses

Against your face so pale

A just gimme some slack, that's right

Uh gimme some slack

Gimme, slack, oo yeah

All I want is slack

I want to float like Euripides

All visions intact

I'm alright with Fellini fiends

A trippin' over the track

Down at the end of L-onely Street

Where no one takes a chance

Someone's in the cheap light

Someone wants to dance

Just gimme some slack, that's right

All I want is slack 

Oh, gimme, slack

All I want is slack

Gimme, slack

Slack

Slack

Sssslack

Slack

Slack

Songwriters: OCASEK, RIC

All I want is slacks.

Like I said, I don't know as much about slack as I used to, but like Supreme Court justice Potter Stewart, I know it when I don't see it. 

The Cars and their quirky sound kind of blew me away as an adolescent. I have adult friends now who want to start a Dungeons and Dragons group, including a maestro Dungeon Master. Isn't it amazing how things come around and around? Maybe sometimes you were always right the first time. 

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The Turd That Killed Elvis

From my celebrated and almost universally ignored series of Poopsicle paintings, I humbly present...

The Turd That Killed Elvis

Elvis Presley died at Graceland on August 16, 1977, at the age of 42.

He was found unresponsive on the bathroom floor after apparently having been sitting on the toilet. This unfortunate detail has become such a permanent part of Elvis mythology that, somewhere along the way, the story was simplified into the considerably more memorable version that Elvis died taking a shit.

The actual circumstances were considerably less amusing.

By the final years of his life, Elvis was in terrible health. He suffered from numerous medical problems and was taking an extraordinary assortment of prescription medications. His death was officially attributed to cardiac causes, although the precise contribution of his medications and other health problems has been debated ever since.

There is, however, another particularly unpleasant piece of Elvis lore.

He reportedly suffered from severe chronic constipation and had significant problems with his colon. This has led to speculation that straining during a bowel movement may have contributed to the cardiac event that killed him.

Which means the legendary Turd That Killed Elvis probably didn't actually kill Elvis.

But it may have been present at the scene.

And that's good enough for art.

The Turd That Killed Elvis

From the Poopsicle Series

Other paintings in the Poopsicle series

Vic Tayback Was the Zodiac Killer

Oprah Winfrey's Pussy

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Oprah Winfrey's Pussy

I am now a painter as well as a poet, actor, and America's First and Only Zombie(Z) Party candidate. I painted Oprah Winfrey's Pussy. It took a lot of paint. Want to see Oprah's Pussy? I didn't, but I am the only person on Earth who has. And it looked like this...

I am the only person on planet Earth known to have seen Oprah Winfrey's Pussy.  I was surprised when she commissioned me to do the portrait. She wants it to be memorialized for future generations so they can remember it as it was.... untouched.


December 12, 2012 update: At one time this was my most popular blog. I actually spent a few days on the texture of this painting. I removed it from my blog but then decided I worked hard on this painting and it should stay. It doesn't get much traffic anymore. 

Ron Jeremy is a Bad Dude

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