Season One of Elvira's Movie Macabre

On September 26, 1981, Elvira's Movie Macabre aired for the first time on KHJ-TV in Los Angeles. The debut movie, Grave of the Vampire, might be seen as an odd choice in retrospect in that it was legitimately gory and violent, whereas many of the subsequent episode feature more tame, even campy or schlocky films with far more humor and much less violence.

Movie Macabre replaced the popular Fright Night that had been hosted by Larry Vincent, who had died six years earlier. The show was an immediate smash, resulting in a lawsuit by Maila Nurmi, who had hosted a similar show in the 1950's as the character Vampira. Although Vampira had originally been tapped to consult for the revival, she bailed out when her choice to succeed her, Lola Falana, was not hired. Cassandra Peterson was instead cast out of a cattle call of 200 applicants, and when chosen quickly began to work on her Elvira character, portraying her as a smart-alecky valley girl type who was generous with her jokes and her cleavage.

Season one of Movie Macabre spanned 46 episodes, featuring such movies as Deathdream, The Brotherhood of Satan, The Baby, Blacula, and The Devil's Rain. The series ended after 140 episodes in 1986, ending in a bang with Nightmare City. Movie Macabre originally aired on KHJ-TV channel 9 Los Angeles 8-10 PM Saturday and was rebroadcast 4-6 PM Sunday.

By 1985 Elvira, Mistress of the dark was a household name, and marketing force, appearing everywhere from Coors Light commercials, Wrestlemania 2, The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, and during the week of Halloween was virtually ubiquitous, appearing nightly at Knot's Berry Farm. Thriller Video decided to capitalize on the popularity of Elvira by releasing 24 title hosted by Elvira. These were movies not shown on Movie Macabre, and included The Monster Club, The Silent Scream, Andy Warhol's Frankenstein, and Alabama's Ghost. Many of the tapes had been fifty minute episodes of Hammer's House of Horror series, often with some deleted material not seen by the British audience.

The cancellation of Movie Macabre did nothing to hurt the popularity of Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, as she has released two movies, a series of records, and Movie Macabre was revived in syndication and ran 26 public domain films in 2010-2011.

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Elvira's Movie Macabre Season 3 Episode 6: Maneater of Hydra

"That gal on the couch who ain't no slouch."

So began Season 3 Episode 6 of Elvira's Movie Macabre, Island of the Doomed, on the evening of November 20, 1983. Was I watching? I don't think so, because I don't remember seeing this movie, but I'm going to live watch it tonight at ShoutFactory and comment.

If you were asleep in Botany 101, you will learn early in this movie, if you're still awake, that carnivorous plants obtain Nitrogen from their victims, not the soil. 

This is a nerdy Botany professor from the University of Michigan. He seems very curious about the Baron's flora. My guess is he's not going to be in the movie much longer. Yes, the picture quality is this grainy.

"It's like a cucumber, but it tastes like meat." 

During her second segment at twenty minutes, Elvira muses that while she was watching a cucumber that tastes like a steak she was busy coming up with a hamburger that tastes like a banana. But nobody wants to buy them, because "they don't have appeal." 

"Anybody for a little Frisbee? Mine are enormous." After a rather dry segment where the Baron explains about his porcupine plant Elvira returns with her Frisbee. It's a welcome diversion from the poor picture quality of this movie. How about that eye makeup? Looks a little bit like Piston Honda in Mike Tyson's Punch Out when he gets stunned by a punch. 

Alright, everyone is in bed now, so time to eat my Cherry Garcia ice cream and finish this sucker. I read ahead a little bit and am of the understanding there is an intense finish. 

Cameron Mitchell plays the Baron von Weser admirably in this movie. I have seen him in a great many movies and tv shows, including Night Gallery, and he often plays an over the top tough guy type, but here his performance is a little reserved. I'm actually watching this scene as I write. Here he is explaining to a woman who has broken away from the group to come and have sex with him that he is never lonely because he has his plants. I think it's about to go badly for her.

Yep, she was about to touch his giant gardenias, and was rebuffed, only to retreat in frustration.

"In a movie about a man-eating plant, I would keep my eye on a man named Moss."

Two dudes fighting it out with axes underneath a bloodsucking tree? Typical Friday night in Hydra, pronounced Heed-ra. 

Director Mel Welles was known for his killer flora movies, including playing flower shop owner Gravis Mushnick in Little Shop of Horrors, because of course he did. And I see looking at his IMDB credits that he played Dr. Hinkle in Dr. Heckyl and Mr. Hype, another Movie Macabre feature I finished watching earlier today. 

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Elvira's Movie Macabre Season 1 Episode 28: Legacy of Blood

"Tonight's movie is Legacy of Blood. Legacy is an Italian word. Like, this is my leg yacee? And this is my other leg yacee?"

Movie Macabre intro to Legacy of Blood. April 10, 1982

I'm very excited because this is the first time since I saw any of the original episodes in the early 80's as a teenager that I will be watching one of the original broadcasts as it aired then, with Elvira's intro to the movie and pop-up comments (hopefully). So far all of the reviews I have done of Movie Macabre episodes have been of the movies themselves, without the intro or Elvira's segments. I found a handful of the episodes at ShoutFactory. I have never been able to find a complete episode of Elvira's Movie Macabre anywhere else before this. I wonder if they all exist somewhere. 

This movie, Legacy of Blood, also known as Will To Die, aired originally on April 10, 1982, and was episode 28 of season 1. The show had already become a runaway hit by this point. I know Legacy of Blood primarily because it was included in the horror compilation Drive-In Movie Classics. 

Legacy of Blood begins with the most cliche of premises: the children of a wealthy man assemble to hear the reading of the will, which (of course) stipulates they must stay at the estate for at least a week or get nothing, and if one of them dies, the remaining portion of the 136 million dollars shall be divided among the survivors. If all the children dies, his faithful three servants get the dough. I wonder what will happen next.

Reading IMDB reviews as I try to slog through the film one more time, I find that I disagree with most of the reviews. I enjoy this film. true, I watched several times at a time in my life when I had nothing else to watch, but I like it.

This guy is in the movie. His name is Igor. I'd have to say he's an obvious cypher as the killer. Maybe he is. I honestly don't remember. 

This is also something that apparently happens in the movie, but I don't recall this either. I think it happens when they come downstairs late at night to make a roast beef sandwich and this guy's head is in the fancy platter. I think there's also an electrocution and the dog bites it and someone gets poisoned and at the end someone is going to get the money even though they just killed seven people and no one is ever supposed to investigate that. All of that improbability taken into account, I'm a sucker for the house and the estate this is filmed on. They have a really nice pool table, and twenty minutes in Elvira hasn't said anything yet. 

"Sheesh. Just give a guy an inch..." 23:35

At about 1:04:30 mark Elvira says "This is getting a little heavy. Time for a musical interlude," then there is about a sixty second montage synched up to the Elvira theme. Then, unfortunately, more movie.

One more break at 1:12:48 to lament her life as a horror movie host, then back for the gripping finish to Will To Die, err, Legacy of Blood.

At 1:23:00 Elvira is back to read letters from ladies and their bad dating experiences. "I don't trust a man who let's his dog eat cabbage." "I don't trust a man who sleeps with his socks on." "I don't trust a man who likes to sit on his umbrella (triple rim shot)." etc then she ends the segment by being hit with rotten vegetables.  

I think at the end of the movie it even turns out that John Carradine is alive. Maybe. 

Elvira returns one last time for the post mortem to rightfully point out that the movie is both dumb and the ending is one of the biggest cliches in movie history. "I get paid for watching this garbage, but what's your excuse?"

I don't think it's a good idea if I answer that question. 

Unpleasant dreams. 

Executive producer Dick Johnson? Of course he is. 

Only two things could have made this more fun: if I were fourteen again, and if my six year old weren't somewhere behind me the whole time. 

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Elvira's Movie Macabre, Season 1, Episode 3: The House That Screamed

The first three episodes of Elvira's Movie Macabre were a rather radical departure from the later tenor of the series in that they were fairly serious horror movies, complete with sex, gore, and violence, while later episodes became known for the campy movie choices like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Cassandra Peterson herself is known to not be a fan of slasher movies, or extreme violence, so the first three movies: Grave of the Vampire, Silent Night, Deadly Night, and The House That Screamed are unusual. A possible explanation for this is that Movie Macabre was a runaway hit right off the bat, and rather than ask for more money Cassandra Peterson asked for more creative control and licensing rights. It turned out to be a genius move for her because getting away from hardcore horror and graduating to lighter, more humorous movies was one factor that made Elvira's Movie Macabre a legendary hit.

So, The House That Screamed.

Typical Spanish macho sexploitation garbage. Didn't like it. Have never actually been able to sit through it, but my New Year's resolution is to watch and blog about every movie in the Movie Macabre series, and this was the third one.

Lilli Palmer owns and runs a school for wayward girls in France. Her absolute discipline has fostered a social order among the girls with rampant sex, lesbianism and torture the norm. Palmer also has an adolescent son (Moulder Brown) she tries to keep isolated from the young women lest he be tainted by sexual relations; She explains that he must wait for a girl "just like his mother". Meanwhile, girls are "running away" (being murdered) one by one, with their corpses and any evidence of their outcome not to be found.

The House That Screamed? More like the House That Screamed typical Catholic rape fantasy misogyny. One of my least favorite episodes of Movie Macabre. 

Episode 2: Silent Night, Bloody Night

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Movie Macabre Season 3 Episode 13 Dr. Heckyll and Mr. Hype, or There's a Monster In My Garbage

Dr. Heckyl and Mr. Hype appeared on Elvira's Movie Macabre March 17th, 1984, exactly one week after Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, and you better believe I was watching. It was season 3 episode 13. At the time I had no awareness of who Oliver Reed was or exactly what it was about this goofy horror comedy that I would still remember 32 years later when I just saw it again for the second time, but there's definitely something about it that is memorable. 

Dr. Heckyl and Mr. Hype is a completely original story never told before about an ugly podiatrist who really like this very attractive blond woman he sees at the bus stop every morning on the way to work. She's not interested because she only dates ears, nose, and throat men. But unbeknownst to Dr. Heckyl, his colleague,  Dr. Vince Hinkle is working on a potion that will turn overweight women into stunning blondes. Does Dr. Heckyl take the serum and transform into a dashing, albeit bloodthirsty ladies' man who becomes homicidal whenever he believes his appearance has been slighted in any way? 

Duh.

Is this a really dumb movie and perhaps one of the most pointless and idiotic adaptations of the Robert Louis Stevenson novel?

Doi.

Don't ever let them convince you that everything exists on the internet, because I'm unable to find a picture of Mr. Hype's first kill, and the scene I remember most vividly from first seeing the movie in 1983, where let's just say he uses a lamp in a very creative way. Foot fetishists will be especially drawn to Dr. Heckyl and Mr. Hype, but what comes to mind for me is the epic bender I read about Oliver Reed going on in Spain before he died. Downing rounds and rounds of drinks with sailors, and ending the night polishing off three bottles of rum. But back to the movie.

It's perfectly stupid and semi-sweet at times, and the violence is mostly comical. There's not much like it. I'll probably even go and finish watching it now.

Update: I decided to finish watching the movie this afternoon, and as I watched my six year old create a very elaborate drawing of the video he was watching it occurred to me that I, too, didn't have to rely o the internet to furnish pictures of these movies I am reviewing, especially of the particular scenes I want to remember and highlight. 

This is the particular scene that emblazened this movie onto my memory.  Dr. Heckyl has just taken the serum his colleague concocted, and discovers he is handsome, His first visit is to his downstairs neighbor. Things are going swimmingly, because he's Oliver Reed, until he feel she has insulted his face. What happens next I must advise you occurs in strobe lights, so the screen grab is insufficient. I guess my whole family was home when we watched this because I remember we laughed and laughed. It just seemed like the funniest thing that ever happened.

"That's no monster, that's my podiatrist."

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Elvira's Movie Macabre Episode 66: The Monster Club

The Monster Club British Quad Poster

Episode 66 of Elvira’s Movie Macabre, The Monster Club, was broadcast on February 6, 1983. That date matters to me for two reasons. It was one day before my 14th birthday, and it is the first episode of Movie Macabre I consciously remember watching.

I may have seen Elvira before then, but this is the one that stuck.

And I loved The Monster Club.

The 1981 British horror anthology stars Vincent Price as vampire Erasmus and John Carradine as horror writer R. Chetwynd-Hayes, who is invited to the titular Monster Club. From there the movie unfolds as a series of stories about different varieties of monsters, interrupted by visits to the club itself. It's a peculiar combination of horror anthology, comedy, nightclub act, punk and New Wave music, and wonderfully ridiculous monster mythology.

For a kid already becoming obsessed with horror movies, it was irresistible.

More than thirty years later, I'm still collecting things associated with the movie.

One of my favorite pieces is the British quad poster designed by Graham Humphreys. Humphreys was fresh out of art school when he got the assignment and reportedly had little more than production stills to work from. As a result, his wonderful painted poster doesn't particularly resemble the movie it advertises. If anything, that makes me like it more.

I've never even removed my copy from the package in which it arrived. One of these days I'll finally have it properly framed.

I also own The Monster Club soundtrack on vinyl.

And it is awesome.

The movie has a surprisingly memorable soundtrack, with performers including The Pretty Things, B.A. Robertson and Night. It's part of what makes The Monster Club such an artifact of its moment. It isn't merely an old horror anthology. Somehow the whole thing feels like somebody put a British horror movie, a comic book, and an early-1980s nightclub into a blender.

But there is one Monster Club collectible I want more than any other.

The Monster's Genealogical Chart.

The chart, drawn by British comic-book artist John Bolton, lays out the wonderfully elaborate system of monster interbreeding described in the film: vampires, werewolves, ghouls and their various hybrid descendants.

I once contacted Bolton's wife, who handled the business side of his work, and learned that the original chart had actually been sitting in their basement. Unfortunately, it had been discovered and sold only a few months before I contacted them.

I didn't ask what it sold for.

There are some things you're simply better off not knowing.

But learning that the original artwork actually existed—and had survived—gave me hope that perhaps someday it might surface again.

John Bolton and Dez Skinn also produced a graphic adaptation of The Monster Club. A copy appeared on eBay once and I passed on it, figuring another would eventually turn up.

The genealogical chart is different.

That feels like a singularity.

As for the movie itself, I don't have any complicated critical defense to offer.

I love it.

Every time we pass the title-loan shop housed in a former Taco Bell that, for a while, was a Video Outlet, I point it out to Jenny. That's where I got the copy of The Monster Club that I dubbed from one VCR to another and subsequently watched more than 150 times.

I still own that tape.

There are better horror movies. There are scarier horror movies. There are certainly more sophisticated horror movies.

But there probably isn't another one that could ever mean quite what The Monster Club means to me.

I also own The Monster Club soundtrack on vinyl. And it is awesome.

However, the holy grail of Monster Club collectibles to me is this... a Monster's genealogical Chart, drawn by British comic book artist John Bolton. Last year I contacted John's wife, who handles the business side of things, and she told me she had found this in the basement and sold it a few months before. I didn't ask for how much because I would have been heartbroken, but just knowing it exists gives me hope I might one day be able to buy it. John Bolton and Dez Skinn also did a graphic novel version of the screenplay, which came up on Ebay a few months ago, and I passed. I anticipate being able to find another one of those, but I think the Monster's Genealogical chart is a singularity. The movie itself? Spectacular. Every time we pass by the title loan shop that inside a former Taco Bell that used to be a Video Outlet I tell Jenny that's where I got the copy of The Monster Club I recorded from one VCR to another VCR and have watched over 150 times and still own today. 

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