Showing posts with label Cult Horror. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cult Horror. Show all posts

Saturday, August 29, 2026

Creature Features: The Definitive History of a Horror Television Institution

 

Creature Features: The Definitive History of a Horror Television Institution

Creature Features: The Definitive History of a Horror Television Institution

There was a time when watching a horror movie at home required considerably more commitment than clicking on a thumbnail. Before streaming, before DVDs, and for most people before even VHS, discovering old horror and science-fiction movies meant being in the right place at the right time. Somewhere late on a Friday or Saturday night, after respectable television had largely gone to bed, a local station might open the crypt and let the monsters out. Dracula, Frankenstein, giant insects, radioactive mutants, aliens, Japanese monsters, Roger Corman pictures, Hammer horror—movies that were genuinely great, movies that were magnificently terrible, and movies whose primary accomplishment was filling ninety minutes of television between commercials.

Creature Features WGN

Standing between the viewer and these movies was one of American television's strangest inventions: the horror host. For viewers in Northern California, no horror show became more beloved than Creature Features. Its history stretches from the deadpan brilliance of Bob Wilkins in the 1970s, through John Stanley's more encyclopedic approach in the 1980s, to the resurrection of the name in 2016 by Vincent Van Dahl, Tangella and Mr. Livingston. More than half a century after Bob Wilkins first sat down in front of a camera and advised viewers that the movie they were about to watch probably wasn't very good, Creature Features is somehow still shambling around.

Before Creature Features: The Birth of the Horror Host

The story begins before Creature Features. In 1957, Screen Gems released a syndicated package of classic Universal horror movies to television stations under the title Shock!. Suddenly local television had access to Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Invisible Man and other movies that had frightened theater audiences a generation earlier. Stations quickly discovered there was another way to sell these aging films. Rather than simply showing the movie, they could have somebody introduce it.

Thus began the golden age of the local television horror host. Some dressed as vampires, undertakers, witches or mad scientists. Some performed comedy sketches. Some emerged from coffins. Others populated their sets with rubber bats, laboratory equipment and dime-store cobwebs. The formula spread across America, producing a bizarre regional ecosystem of characters who often became more beloved than the movies they presented. The name Creature Features itself was not exclusive to one program. Versions of Creature Feature or Creature Features appeared in numerous American television markets, including Chicago and the Quad Cities. But in Northern California something slightly different happened. A guy sat in a chair.

Bob Wilkins Before Creature Features

Bob Wilkins did not look much like a horror host, and that was part of the joke. Wilkins began hosting horror movies at KCRA in Sacramento in 1966. Rather than dress like Dracula, he appeared essentially as himself: glasses, neat clothes, dry expression and eventually the trademarks viewers would remember most vividly, a rocking chair and cigar. His humor was understated and frequently devastating. Instead of insisting that the night's movie was terrifying, Wilkins might warn the audience that it was terrible and suggest they check what was playing on the other channels.

It was anti-promotion as promotion, and the effect was remarkable. Wilkins wasn't pretending the audience was stupid. If a movie was ridiculous, everybody knew it was ridiculous, including the host. That shared understanding created a relationship between Wilkins and his viewers that was very different from conventional television. The movie might be garbage, but they were going to watch it together.

Wilkins left KCRA in 1970 and moved into Bay Area television at KTVU Channel 2. He simultaneously continued hosting horror programming in Sacramento on KTXL, meaning that for a period he was effectively maintaining horror-host careers in two markets. His Sacramento work established the persona, but what happened at KTVU turned him into an institution.

January 9, 1971: Creature Features Arrives

On Saturday, January 9, 1971, Creature Features debuted on KTVU Channel 2 with The Horror of Party Beach, a 1964 mixture of radioactive sea monsters, teenagers, music and the sort of low-budget cinematic decision-making that would prove perfectly at home on the show. Creature Features quickly became successful enough that KTVU expanded the program into a double feature, and soon Saturday night belonged to monsters.

The program showed the expected classic horror and science-fiction pictures but wandered happily through virtually every corner of fantastic cinema. There were giant monsters, alien invasions, mad scientists, cheap exploitation pictures, Hammer films and forgotten oddities. On January 1, 1972, Creature Features presented the television premiere of George Romero's Night of the Living Dead, a film that was already transforming the modern horror movie. That broadcast alone would have given Creature Features a small place in horror history, but increasingly the movies were only part of the attraction.

Bob Wilkins Changes the Horror Host

Wilkins's genius was that he didn't really behave like a horror host. He behaved like an intelligent guy who happened to have been assigned to show you Billy the Kid Versus Dracula. He sat in his chair, smoked his cigar, talked about the movie and made jokes so dry that occasionally they seemed to arrive several seconds after he'd finished speaking. His famous admonition, “Don't stay up late, it's not worth it,” perfectly summarized the character of the program. He could simultaneously celebrate horror movies and acknowledge that some of them were absolutely terrible.

Yet Creature Features gradually became something more ambitious than wisecracks surrounding bad movies. Wilkins interviewed an extraordinary assortment of people connected to horror, fantasy, science fiction and popular culture. Christopher Lee, Ray Harryhausen, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, William Marshall, John Landis, Forrest J Ackerman and many others appeared during his years on television. This gave the program an unusual dual identity. One minute Wilkins could be ridiculing an atrocious monster movie; the next he might be conducting a serious conversation with one of the most important figures in science-fiction or horror cinema.

That mixture of irreverence and genuine knowledge became part of the show's DNA. Wilkins understood that loving horror didn't require pretending every horror movie was good. In fact, recognizing exactly how bad some of them were could be part of the pleasure. At the same time, he treated the filmmakers, actors, effects artists and fans seriously enough to understand that this supposedly disposable culture was worth documenting.

Watch Horror Films, Keep America Strong

The culture surrounding Creature Features became nearly as important as the program itself. Viewers sent letters, made artwork, submitted films and repeated Wilkins's jokes and slogans. His phrase “Watch Horror Films—Keep America Strong” became one of the great slogans in horror-host history. The program became a gathering place for people who loved things that mainstream culture still regarded as disposable or juvenile.

This was before horror fandom became an easily identifiable commercial demographic. There were no streaming algorithms feeding viewers endless lists of obscure horror movies, and finding information about Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, Japanese monster films or low-budget science fiction required actual effort. Magazines like Famous Monsters of Filmland performed part of that function in print. On television, programs like Creature Features created communities of viewers who gradually realized there were other people out there interested in exactly the same strange things.

In that sense, Creature Features functioned as something between a movie theater, clubhouse and informal film school. You watched because you wanted to see the monster, but you kept watching because somebody else understood why you wanted to see the monster.

John Stanley Takes the Chair

By the late 1970s, Bob Wilkins was ready to leave, and his successor was John Stanley, a journalist, writer and film critic who had already appeared on the program and possessed an encyclopedic knowledge of horror, fantasy and science fiction. Stanley took over in 1979. The transition could easily have killed the show because horror hosts are unusually personal figures, and replacing one is a little like replacing somebody's favorite bartender. Instead, Stanley made Creature Features his own.

Where Wilkins specialized in laconic irreverence, Stanley leaned more heavily into film history, interviews and genre knowledge. He continued the humor but also treated horror and science fiction as subjects worthy of serious discussion. His guests included an extraordinary collection of writers, actors and filmmakers, among them Ray Bradbury, Christopher Lee, Leonard Nimoy, Robert Bloch, Ray Harryhausen and Max von Sydow.

Under Stanley, the program increasingly resembled something that barely existed elsewhere on television: a serious genre interview program disguised as a late-night monster show. Stanley understood that the audience wanted more than the movies themselves. They wanted to know who made them, how they were made, where the ideas came from and what the people involved thought about their work. In an era long before DVD commentaries, podcasts and endless behind-the-scenes documentaries, that access was valuable.

1984: The Monsters Leave Television

The original KTVU Creature Features ended in 1984, and its disappearance was part of a much larger change in American television. The local horror host was becoming an endangered species. Cable television was expanding, home video allowed viewers to rent the movies they once had to wait until midnight to see, local stations changed ownership and programming strategies, and syndicated programming filled hours once occupied by locally produced oddities.

The economics that had created horror hosts were disappearing, and when those economics disappeared, something culturally important disappeared with them. Local television became less local. The strange person in your city who introduced The Brain That Wouldn't Die at midnight was gradually replaced by programming that could have been transmitted from anywhere in the country. The movies themselves became easier to obtain, but the ritual surrounding them began to vanish.

For Creature Features, the crypt closed for more than thirty years. But the audience remembered, which is one of the remarkable things about horror hosts. People don't merely remember the movies. They remember watching the movies. They remember the room, being twelve years old, trying to stay awake, and the television glowing in a dark house while everyone else was asleep. Bob Wilkins and John Stanley remained cult figures because Creature Features had become attached to those memories.

Keeping Creature Features Alive

Bob Wilkins died in 2009, but preservation of his work and the history surrounding Creature Features had already begun. Filmmakers and fans understood that the old broadcasts represented a kind of television history that could easily disappear because local programs were not always systematically archived. Tom Wyrsch and Robert Napton's documentary Watch Horror Films, Keep America Strong helped preserve the story of Bay Area horror television and the people who created and watched it.

That preservation work mattered because the original Creature Features had existed in an era when television was considered disposable. Episodes aired and disappeared. Videotape was reused. Film deteriorated. Recordings survived because somebody happened to save them. What had once seemed like ephemeral late-night entertainment gradually became cultural history.

And, because monsters have an inconvenient habit of returning, Creature Features eventually did too.

2016: Creature Features Rises Again

On October 29, 2016, a new Creature Features debuted with Night of the Living Dead. The choice was beautifully appropriate. The film that Bob Wilkins's program had famously broadcast in 1972 now helped inaugurate the new incarnation, and former host John Stanley appeared in the first episode. The new show acknowledged the history it inherited without attempting to reproduce it exactly.

The host was Vincent Van Dahl, played by Jeff Bodean, presented as a retired rock star who had abandoned the music business and settled into a haunted mansion in Bodega Bay. Living with him were two people who would become equally important to the program. Mr. Livingston, played by Räven Green, was Van Dahl's extraordinarily patient and increasingly indispensable butler. Then there was Tangella, played by Ali Noel, a silent and spectacularly destructive presence who seemed to exist somewhere between feral child, homicidal Muppet, silent-film comedian and creature somebody had unwisely allowed into the house.

Tangella doesn't speak and doesn't need to. She conducts experiments, destroys things, threatens people and communicates primarily through facial expressions suggesting that whatever she is thinking should probably concern everyone nearby. Together Vincent, Livingston and Tangella recreated the fundamental horror-host arrangement while turning it into something unmistakably their own.

The Mansion and the New Mythology

The setting helped enormously. Rather than appearing against an inexpensive television backdrop, the revived Creature Features operates from the historic Poulter Mansion in Bodega Bay, California. Rooms, staircases, antique furniture, strange objects and shadowy corners became part of the program's visual language. The mansion isn't simply a set; it behaves almost like another character.

The premise is wonderfully unnecessary and therefore perfect for a horror-host program. Vincent Van Dahl has retired from rock music and lives in this peculiar mansion with his butler and whatever exactly Tangella is. Guests arrive, conversations occur, Tangella causes trouble, and everyone watches a movie. It creates enough mythology to give the show a distinct identity without allowing the premise to overwhelm the fundamental reason everyone is there.

The Old Formula in a New World

The remarkable thing about the revived Creature Features is how little the basic idea needed to change. There is a movie. There are breaks in the movie. The hosts return during those breaks. There are jokes, guests, conversations and monsters. Then everyone goes back to watching the film. The technology surrounding that simple arrangement, however, has changed completely.

The original program was ephemeral local television. If you weren't within KTVU's broadcast range, you didn't see it. If you missed Saturday night's episode, it was gone unless somebody happened to record it. The revived Creature Features could exist simultaneously as traditional television and Internet television. It appeared on KOFY TV20 and expanded into syndication while episodes became available online, eventually reaching viewers through YouTube and connected-TV platforms far beyond Northern California.

Something fascinating happened in the process. One of the most intensely local forms of American television adapted itself to a global medium. A viewer thousands of miles from Bodega Bay could now participate in essentially the same Saturday-night ritual that had once depended upon living within range of a particular television transmitter.

The Guests Return

The new show also preserved one of the smartest things Wilkins and Stanley had done: inviting people over to talk. Actors, filmmakers, writers, musicians, horror personalities, artists, scientists and assorted eccentrics have occupied the guest chair. That matters because without the interviews, Creature Features could easily become merely another service showing old movies.

The conversations preserve the feeling that someone has invited you into the house for the evening. That was always one of the secrets of horror-host television. The host wasn't simply introducing a movie. The host was keeping you company while you watched it. The movie could be found somewhere else. The particular experience of watching it with these people could not.

The Vincent Van Dahl Era Becomes an Era of Its Own

The resurrection was not a short-lived nostalgia stunt. The revived show accumulated hundreds of episodes beginning in 2016, enough that the Vincent Van Dahl, Livingston and Tangella incarnation can no longer reasonably be described merely as “the reboot.” It has become a substantial era of Creature Features history in its own right.

That longevity is important because the new program has now introduced the horror-host tradition to viewers who have no firsthand memory of Bob Wilkins or John Stanley. Some discovered the earlier programs through the revival rather than the other way around. The lineage therefore works in both directions: the original gives legitimacy and history to the revival, while the revival keeps sending new viewers backward into the archives.

Livingston Presents

The program mutated again in 2025 when Mr. Livingston began hosting his own movie program, Livingston Presents, with Tangella periodically appearing to ensure that things did not proceed too smoothly. What might initially have seemed like a side project became increasingly important as the Creature Features team prepared for something larger.

In 2026 the team announced that the regular Saturday Creature Features would take a planned hiatus following its May 30 broadcast. The reason was not cancellation. They were making a movie. Producing the weekly show—with its multiple cameras, editing, guests and all the machinery required to assemble a full episode—was consuming time needed for production of The Creature Features Movie. Livingston Presents therefore inherited the Saturday-night position while work on the film continued.

As of August 2026, filming on the movie is underway while Livingston Presents continues the Saturday-night tradition. It is another transformation in a history filled with them. Bob Wilkins gave way to John Stanley. Local broadcast television gave way to home video and cable. Decades later, television gave way to a mixture of broadcasting, streaming and online distribution. Now the current incarnation is attempting to make the jump from hosted television into a feature film.

Creature Features in 2026

Creature Features Tangella


That brings the story to the present. More than half a century after Creature Features debuted on KTVU, the lineage remains alive. Not unchanged, because that would miss the point. Bob Wilkins's Creature Features belonged to the age of independent local television. John Stanley's version belonged to the moment when genre fandom was becoming increasingly self-aware. Vincent Van Dahl, Tangella and Livingston belong to an era when television, streaming, YouTube and independent production have blurred together.

During the current hiatus, Livingston is essentially minding the store. Livingston Presents occupies the Saturday-night position while the creators work on bringing the inhabitants of the mansion into a feature film. There is something wonderfully appropriate about this. The program has survived by behaving exactly like the creatures it has always shown: whenever circumstances threatened it, it changed form.

Why Creature Features Matters

It would be easy to describe Creature Features as a program that showed horror movies. Technically, that's true, but it doesn't explain why anyone remembers it. The real subject of Creature Features has always been watching horror movies with somebody else. Bob Wilkins understood that instinctively. The movies didn't have to be good, and sometimes their awfulness improved the evening. What mattered was the ritual. The host returned between segments, made a joke, interviewed somebody, showed something peculiar and then sent you back into the movie.

John Stanley understood the other half of the equation: the people watching these movies were genuinely interested in them. Horror wasn't merely junk to be mocked. It had history, artists, writers, filmmakers and ideas worth discussing. The current incarnation understands both lessons. Vincent can introduce the film, Livingston can regard the proceedings with profound suspicion, Tangella can attempt to kill something, and then the movie continues.

For a few hours on Saturday night, the enormous anonymous machinery of modern entertainment shrinks back down to something comprehensible: a house, a host, a guest and a monster movie. More than fifty years after Bob Wilkins first welcomed Bay Area viewers to Creature Features, the medium that created the show barely exists anymore. Independent local television has largely vanished, and the movies themselves are available almost everywhere. Nobody has to wait until Saturday night to see Night of the Living Dead.

And yet people still gather on Saturday night to watch.

Maybe that was the thing we misunderstood about horror hosts. We thought they existed because people needed somebody to show them the movies. Perhaps they existed because people wanted somebody to watch the movies with them.

Apparently we still do.

Watch horror films. Keep America strong.


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Friday, January 26, 2018

43 (and growing) "Bad" Horror Movies Every Horror Fan Must See

This is a list of horror movies I watch on a semi-constant basis with a few quick notes to remind me what they are when I forget. It is not intended as a detailed synoposis of those movies, and unless you're a dedicated fan of horror these movies probably won't entertain you at all. Note: I made this list in the car between Wausau and Dr. Evermore's Forevertron in North Freedom, Wisconsin. I'm in the early stages of memory loss, and it's just a list, folks. It's meant as a tribute to all the low budget horror films that have meant so much to me all my life, not something to fight about, but I'd enjoy it if others wanted to talk about any of these films or similar ones that have meaning to them. Maybe some of these movies will help you get through some hard times and dark nights with their unpretentious devotion to the genre the way they have for me.

1) Screamtime: Anthology piece shot in Britain, but with introductory segment shot in New York. Has the gnomes story I really enjoy.

2) Nightmares: Anthology piece with Emilio Estevez in the Bishop of Battle segment.

3) Point of Terror: Peter Carpenter vehicle about a small time lounge singer who has aspirations of being a star.

4) Night of Horror: Confederate zombies pursue a rocker and his friends.

5) Werewolves On Wheels: Great soundtrack by Don Gere. Biker werewolves who take on a Satanic cult.

6) Enter the Devil: Wonderful regional B movie shot in Texas and with a unique take on the Satanic cult genre.

7) The Offspring (From a Whisper To a Scream): Awesome Vincent Price anthology piece about Oldfield, a Southern town where the sins of the past always come back to haunt those in the present.

8) Toxic Zombies: Pot growers crop dusted by the DEA transform into zombies and pursue those unlucky enough to be anywhere in the vicinity.

9) No Blade of Grass: Stark, cynical assessment of human nature after an environmental disaster plunges humanity into chaos.

10) Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things: Favorite movie. A theatre troupe of young Hippies land on a small island with a cemetery to perform a Satanic ritual meant to raise the dead. It works.


"So what's with this little thing we're askin'?"


11) Shockwaves: Aquatic Nazi zombies rise from their shipwreck to hunt down members of a shipwrecked crew on an island with an abandoned resort which Peter Cushing lives in.

12) Psychomania: Biker gang punk learns secret of immortality from his psychic mother.

13) Mansion of the Living Dead: Incredibly misogynistic Jess Franco movie starring another island resort and living dead reminiscent of Ossorio's Blind Dead.

14) Revenge of the Dead: French movie mistaken for a zombie movie by those disappointed it's really a mystery with another abandoned spa and only one zombie.

15) City of the Walking Dead: Probably the first fast-moving zombie movie.

16) The Monster Club: Co-favorite movie of all time. Vincent Price in another anthology piece set in a London night club for monsters.


What happens if a Shadmock whistles?

17) Alabama's Ghost: Bizarre piece of nonsense released as a Thriller Video hosted by Elvira directed by a scuplter.

18) The Spookies: A car-wrecked group of goofs happen upon an abandoned house that really isn't bandoned.

19) The Phantom of the Paradise: Paul Williams as Faust.

20) Scream and Scream Again: Price, Lee, Cushing.

21) Dracula 1972 A.D.: Chhristopher Lee as a Dracula in swinging London.

22) Escapes: Quaint but charming low budget anthology piece "hosted" by Vincent Price with the great Cup of Joe segment.

23) Pigs: First saw on Movie Macabre. An on-the-run mental patient meets the only other person crazier than her at a remote diner that serves the meat of pigs that survive on human flesh.

24) Gargoyles: ABC movie of the week in early 70's about the re-awakening of ancient gargoyles in the Southwestern desert.

25) Messiah of Evil (Dead People): Eerie, atmospheric movie about the return of the Red Moon to Point Doom, California. Great scenes at the theatre and Ralphs.

26) Simon, King of theWitches: Written by a real expert on witchcraft, avoids many of the cliche tropes of movies about witches.

27) The Cold: Shot at the now demolished Northernaire Resort in Wisconsin, the tale of three oldsters who invite several strangers to their resort off season every year to play a deadly game. William Rebane directs.

28) Zombiethon: Compiled footage from several zombie movies sliced together with several amusing interstitial shorts.

29) Night of the Comet: Against inconceivable odds, two sisters in different locations survive a meteor cataclysm.

30) Dr. Heckyll and Mr. Hype: Oliver Reed in an unusual retelling of the famous horror story.

31) Class Reunion Massacre: Shot in a Southern military academy, several people gather for a high school reunion. You know the rest.

32) The Beast Must Die: Werewolf mystery. Who is the werewolf? Who isn't the werewolf?

33) House of the Dead (Alien Zone): The original House of the Dead, shot in Omaha. A low budget anthology piece about a pilandering convention goer being shown the wages of sin by an undertaker.

34) Joel M. Reed's Bloodbath: Great anthology piece.

35) Funeral Home: Canadian horror movie about a young woman who goes to stay with her grandmother for the summer at the home where her grandfather was an undertaker.

36) Night Train To Terror: Bizarro anthology piece with the greatest musical intro of all time and Bull from Night Court in two of the segments. 


Everybody's got something to do. Everybody but you. 


37) Ghost Ship: Nazi ghost ship.

38) Hard Rock Zombies: A favorite at Zombie Night

39) A Name For Evil: Robert Culp as an architect who leaves the city to return to his ancestral home, but soon finds an angry ancestor doesn't want him there.

40) Satan's Children: Florida news guys swindles his friends to make this anti-Satan cautionary tale about a young man who leaves his broken home only to be raped by Molly Hatchet and then joins a Satanic cult.

41) The Boneyard: Phyllis Diller, Norman Fell, an offbeat lead character, and a zombie poodle in an oddly effective dark horror movie.

42) The Video Dead: A haunted television mistakenly sent to a California suburb unleashes a David Bowie zombie.

43) Creepshow 2: "Thanks for the ride, lady."

Newly remembered

44) Ghostkeeper: Canadian snowmobilers are stranded at a abandoned resort. First Wendigo movie I am aware of.

45) Humongous: Canadian boaters are shipwrecked on an island where a Big Head Todd monster still lives in an abandoned resort.

46) Warlock Moon: A college girl is lured by a charming stranger to an abandoned resort where cannibals ply their trade.

47) Screams of a Winter Night: At an abandoned resort (getting the idea?) in Louisiana, a group of young college types trades urban legends, then becomes one. 

48) Devil Times Five: At a ski lodge deserted for the season, the owner beckons his daughter, her boyfriend, and Boss Hogg and his alcoholic wife to be murdered by a cross-dressing Leif Garrett and a 15 year old albino the director was banging, because it was the 70's


Devil Times Five

49) Nightmare In Blood: The first horror con ever turns bloody when a movie vampire scheduled to appear turns out to be a vampire. 

50) The Baby: A grown man is treated like a baby by his two sisters and mother. A truly unusual movie. It is horror.

51) Death By Dialogue: Almost forgot this gem, but that's why this list is here. A group of college student visit one of their uncles, who lives near an abandoned film set, and snooping in the basement finds a mysterious script whose contents come to life as they are read. One of the best decapitation by a heavy metal band one stumbles upon performing in the forest scenes ever. 

52) Hellgate: A movie I used to confuse with Death By Dialogue because the settings seem so similar. Ron Palillo (Horshak from Welcome Back Kotter) is in this one about college students who end up in an abandoned Western Ghost Town attraction that comes back to life. Or something like that.

53) Tourist Trap: The Rifleman, Chuck Conners, owns a tourist trap wax museum. 

54) Dead and Buried: For some reason had blocked this one from my memory, perhaps confusing it with something else, until a couple months ago, when I finally watched it, and will again, hopefully. Coastal town full of pyschos murders tourists and... little bit like The Fog or Messiah of Evil.

55) Mark of the Witch. Anitra Walsh as a witch who returns to a college town to seek vengeance on a ersatz Leslie Nielsen type who condemned her death in a previous life. 








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Monday, January 9, 2017

Elvira's Movie Macabre Season 2, Episode 19: Craze, Starring Jack Palance

On the evening of January 29, 1983, exactly one week before The Monster Club, the movie Craze aired as Episode 19 of season 2 of Elvira's Movie Macabre. I do not remember seeing this movie, so I will be watching it and live blogging it tonight after I hear the voices upstairs subside so I can put on the earphones. 


Before I even begin watching Craze I notice the director, Freddie Francis, had directed many horror movies I am quite fond of, including Dr. Terror's House of Horrors, Torture Garden, Tales From the Crypt, Tales That Witness Madness, and The Ghoul. He came up through the ranks working as a clapper boy then making films during his WWII deployment. He got his break directing in 1962 at Hammer, and like many classic horror directors and actors, spent the rest of his career being typecast in the genre. It is sad to hear that story over and over when the movies these people made endure, and have made so many people happy. 


The movie opens with Jack Palance and group of worshippers sacrificing a woman to C3PO. I bet they got a cease and desist letter from George Lucas before the end of shooting this scene.

There's a a lot of nudity in this scene, and Jenny said I should start doing warnings about how much violence or nudity are in these movies, so warning, warning, boobs. And violence.

Jack Palance plays an off-center antique dealer who holds nightly rituals in his basement trying to curry favor from the African demigod Chuku. 


After the first nightly ritual where the Black woman offers her blood, everyone goes upstairs, then this older woman comes down and says "That's my Chuku" and insists the idol is hers and tries to take it back. It goes badly for her. C3PO is apparently pleased, spurring Palance on to even more and more creative and grisly sacrifices (probably, I haven't actually seen the movie yet, but I'll give you a dog biscuit if that's not what happens).

Chuku was a creator deity of the Ibo people of Nigeria.


Add caption
Readers of this blog will no doubt remember Julie Ege from The Seven Brothers Meet Dracula and The Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires, which are the same movie. In this scene Palance is no doubt about to sacrifice Ege to Chuku. But first some casual drug use and a romp. This movie was listed in Britain's infamous Video Nasties. 

Dance for Chuku, dammit. Dance.

That's no way to treat Julie Ege.


Let's see what Neal Mottram gets from Chuku for Julie Ege. He got a drawer full of gold coins for the old bat.

A: Ming vases


Then he scares an old lady with this mask and I have to be honest I lost interest and went to bid on a Hot Wheel on Ebay. If Chuku is paying out Ming vases for Julie Ege maybe just a subscription to National Geographic for scaring old ladies with a kook mask? Got about forty minutes to ride out with this one and I have to say I'm not into it. I feel like I've started this movie before in the past and not been able to get through it. Just not my cup of tea, but maybe other horror fans will like it.

There a couple of musical numbers in subterranean English pubs that are reminiscent of The Amen Corner in Scream and Scream Again. 



Not sure what happened with the Diana Dors story arc. I wanted to talk about seeing her in The Alfred Hithcock Hour episode "Run For Doom" and then later in From Beyond the Grave. But now there's only a few minutes left and for some reason he has scheduled an appointment with a massage therapist/dominatrix and I have no idea how any of this fits into the story, but I did admittedly just skip past a half hour of dialogue.


With eight minutes left in the movie Palance schedules a massage with dominatrix Suzy Kendall. Somebody definitely isn't in for a happy ending. Mostly at this point it's me because I just want to go to bed. 

Eventually the movie ends and there are credits. By modern standards the sex, nudity, drug use, and violence are comparatively tame, so I don't know about being a Video Nasty, but maybe a video meh. 







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Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Zombie Logic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews: The Keeper

I started early tonight with what Jenny and I refer to as the "crummy movies" because I'd like to get in as many as possible. The movie is actually one I'll be finishing from last night titled The Keeper.

The Keeper is a low budget horror film released in 1976 and shot in Vancouver, British Columbia. It is one of those films that is not remembered kindly by those who bother to remember it, and I think one of the primary reasons for that is that for reasons no one can explain (probably cash), Christopher Lee stars in the movie. Not just a quick cameo, but he's actually in the movie. He plays The Keeper, the keeper of an asylum where family members of wealthy families are kept, and meet nefarious ends at the hands of the maniacal Keeper, who sits at his mysterious console and and doles out punishment via mind control and hypnotism to the inmates, and really anyone who comes to save them.

Christopher Lee at his console of terror in the 1976 movie The Keeper

Like I said, if you want a bad review of The Keeper, you can find it easily somewhere else. It's altogether an off kilter production from a crew that hadn't done much before, and didn't do a whole lot after. I watched it mostly as I was doing other things and cleaning the apartment. I like how the console is built into what looks like a roll top desk, so thumbs up from me. 
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Sunday, January 24, 2016

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things: Two Incantations To Call Forth Satan and Raise the...

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things: Two Incantations To Call Forth Satan and Raise the...: The Satanic incantation Alan utters after the offering of baby blood Oh Great Diviner, Master of the Three Worlds, disciple who becam...




August 10, 2026 update: One of the lingering questions I still have about this movie after having it consistently in my VCR since 1990 is which character's summoning actually calls forth the zombies: Alan's or Val's? Because one might get the feeling it's Val's execration of Satan that does the trick, but later in the movie the counterspell that actually makes the zombies temporarily retreat is to Alan's original spell.


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Thursday, November 20, 2014

Peopletoys (1974)

Actress Gail Smale, whose only movie was Peopletoys. Yes, she is albino.
Peopletoys is a 1974 movie that is impressive to me as an example of sure-handed professionalism triumphing over half-ass irresponsibilty. The half-ass irresponsibility in this case came from original director Sean MacGregor, who gets full credit for directing Peopletoys despite doing little else except fucking everything up, sleeping with an underage actress, and fighting with the writer and producer for setting flame to their hard work. MacGregor was so bad that he was fired and veteran tv producer David Sheldon was brought in to help salvage the production. Which he did. Despite having to reshoot a lot of the footage in another location, and bring back actors whose physical appearance had changed, including a nubile Leif Garrett, who had to don a wig because he had already dyed his hair for another production, Sheldon finished Peopletoys, also known as Devil Times Five, and Tantrums.  


Hell ya, that's Boss Hogg. Sorrelle Booke. "Goodnight, Harvey Beckman."
A lot of good scholarship has been done on Peopletoys. I've only ever seen one negative review, and that person seemed like kind of an idiot. The most amazing part of this movie to me is that it got finished at all. Most movies Sean MacGregor started never did, including the one with Vanna White, the one with the only known footage of her breastesses, or at least one breast, that is still credited to director Alan Smithee to this day, although it was the infamous MacGregor that raised a couple mildo of investor money, including the wife of a famous actor, and a future California gubernatorial candidate, then melted down, and ended up getting sued by everyone but Hupy and Abraham for misrepresenting himself. The legal battle went on so long that by the time it came to a head Vanna White and the rich governor-type had become all proper Conservatives and just wanted the piece of trash buried in a landfill. 


I watched Peopletoys again last night from my 50 Chilling Classics video that I've had a long time. The continuity errors, inexplicable scene changes, and feeling of disjointment are apparent if you're looking for them, or even if you're not. Knowing the troubled history of this movie only makes me like it more. I'm actually going to put it in tonight in the background and watch. I love the ski lodge location. The fact that at the beginning of the movie you see guests who are leaving for the season as the characters arrive to take over during the off season. Sound familiar? This movie is whack, and over the top with boobs, catfights, a cross-dressing adolescent, an albino actress fucking the director, who melts down, checks into a mental institution, and ends up 40 years later working as a stage hand in Hollywood. Whatever happened to Gail Smale? Pin It

Friday, July 18, 2014

The Wailing aka Murder Syndrome aka Fear aka Delrium aka Satan's Alter

I really love the compilation movie Zombiethon. Probably far more than I should, but there are sentimental reasons involved. In the late 80's and early 90's I used to rent the Wizard Video big box VHS version of Zombiethon every six months from the Dollar Video. These were the days when the video store was a destination. You got your snacks, you got an armload of videos, and maybe you didn't leave the apartment for a few days. Later I found out maybe you also had a personality disorder, but if you've got to have something, having a disorder that leads you to hole up in your dark apartment for four days eating instant Won Ton soup, drinking Tab Cola, and watching zombie movies on VHS doesn't seem like the worst thing that could happen. 

There are seven or eight zombie movies Zombiethon draws clips from. I can't name them all off hand right now. I actually probably can... Zombie Lake, A Virgin Among the Living Dead, Oasis of the Zombies, The Invisible Dead, The Alien Dead, Zombie, and the movie I'm watching tonight (if it ever loads on the Amazon player, that is) for the first time. It's called Murder Syndrome. And it's called Fear. And it's called Delirium. And it's called Satan's Alter. And ultimately they decided to title it The Wailing for worldwide English-language release. 

There's really no good reason for me to have rented it at one in the morning, but nonetheless, here we go. 


I guess seeing that box with the Wizard Video logo I'd probably like to find a copy of this on VHS. Pretty standard opening. Actor gets overwrought, tries to strangle and actress during filming of a movie, decides he needs a vacation, so retreats to an eerie family estate to relax. And it is is eerie. The actor's mother, who is supposedly dying, but still looks pretty dang good, seems really happy to see her son. Uncomfortably happy, and is terribly disappointed to see her son has brought along his girlfriend. I wonder what's going to happen. 


Methinks Anita Strindberg is a little too hot to have a strapping thirty year old actor son. But nudity to the rescue. What next? Are you going to tell me the actor's friends start showing up and putting themselves in precarious positions where they could easily be knocked off in gruesome ways by someone, or some thing, that inhabits the estate?


Listen, I'm just going to have a quick shag with Laura Gemser, you know, the chick who played one of the Emmanuels. What could go wrong? 


Ahhhhhh. Shit, I hope nobody saw that. They'll put her spleen back in, right? This is turning out to be a very bad weekend. What else could even possibly go wrong?


Son of a bitch. Listen, I'm going to go watch the final 57 minutes of this movie and have a cup of tea. If you want to know what happens, you go ahead and rent The Wailing on Amazon, or wait for Netflix to add it, which, let me look at my watch, ain't never going to happen. Seems pretty good from the bit I was able to watch between typing this and having only bar of connectivity right now. 

I lied, I'm back. Because this chick goes down the stairs, runs into the spider, decides to run through the woods, then ends up back in the basement, where these two figures are waiting for her as Bach's "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" plays. And that's pretty more than ok for two a.m. I'll let you know if anything equally that good happens in the last thirty minutes. 








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