Ugly People Sitting On a Park Bench

I'm full of stuff like poetry today. I got this poem right here. It's deceptively simple in it's simplitude. I say that to try to sucker you into believing there's something there. We both know the truth, don't we? 

I'm not saying these people on a bench are ugly, I'm just saying they came up first on Google image search. I'm only titling this picture "Ugly People On a Bench" because that's the first thing that comes to mind considering that's the title of the poem.

Ugly People On a Park Bench

Look out, they're going to breed.

Oh, shit, false alarm,

They're just feeding 
The ducks.

But I bet those
Ugly fuckers are
Going to breed.



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Don't Let a Poet Rake Your Leaves

     I've taken on some landscaping work this spring and summer, more just to be outdoors and have some time away from screens and electronic devices than anything else. I'm working with another artist, a musician, and we often discuss how being outside away from televisions and computers is the best way to refuel the creative process. Because I was raking leaves the first poem that came to me was about raking leaves.

Don't Let a Poet Rake Your Leaves

Your wife will end up contemplating
Enjambment at the breakfast table
And the children will begin using your earnings
Reports to compose trioles.
If that poet takes off his shirt
Your mistress might crash the Civic
You bought her as she rounds the corner
Of Hemlock and Elm.
Save the money for a prop bet
And never let a poet rake your leaves
Even if he grew up in the carriage house
Of your estate.
Given enough time on your grounds
He'll turn the trumpet vines against you
And the orioles will compose ariels
Mocking your manhood....


     I began this poem at the beginning of last summer when I was doing some lawn maintenance work. It was nice to get outside and earn some money for our vacation, but as the summer progressed I began to wear down. I haven't finished this poem yet. 

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Further Utterances of Sun Tzu

Further Utterances of Sun-Tzu

If occupying moral

High ground
Build a bamboo
Hut
Suitable for gloating
And ride it out
With Sumatran coffee
And the London Times.

If handed an inferior
Glass of wine
At a peace negotiation
Thrust it defiantly
In the host's face
Dashing all hopes of peace
As he has dashed
Your hope for a good
Buzz,
Then overturn the
Buffet table and rape
His wife-
A chintzy host cannot
Be trusted.

When in Rome...

Duckwalk,

When in Indiana...

Cowtip,
And when in Tuscaloosa
Well, you know,
Stay at the beautiful
Downtown Hospitality Inn.
There are one-way mirrors
Behind the artwork
And the ice machine
Is broken,
But they gave me fifty

Bucks for the ad space.

(Sun Tzu doesn't
Actually endorse
The Hospitality Inn
Or this poem
But being dead
He's in a very
Weak tactical
Position
So fuck him). 

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