Showing posts with label Satirical Poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satirical Poetry. Show all posts

Sunday, January 28, 2018

The Poetry Reading

Poetry Reading

The Uptown Cultural Center's
Liason for Community Education
Steps to the podium and gives a brief speil
About the essential nature
Of poetry in the community,
And how poetry is for everyone,
Then sneaks off through a back door
The moment the poetry begins.
I see her in her office
With her feet up
Reading Cosmopolitan.
As the poems about oppression 
And loneliness begin in earnest,
The poets read their poems
About the callousness
Of a public apathetic
To their sacrifices,
Then disappear one by one
After reading
Until finally it's just me,
The open bar,
And poetry...

Again.

-Thomas L. Vaultonburg Pin It

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Ugly People Sitting On a Park Bench

I'm full of stuff like poetry today. I got this poem right here. It's deceptively simple in it's simplitude. I say that to try to sucker you into believing there's something there. We both know the truth, don't we? 



I'm not saying these people on a bench are ugly, I'm just saying they came up first on Google image search. I'm only titling this picture "Ugly People On a Bench" because that's the first thing that comes to mind considering that's the title of the poem.


Ugly People On a Park Bench

Look out, they're going to breed.

Oh, shit, false alarm,

They're just feeding 
The ducks.

But I bet those
Ugly fuckers are
Going to breed.



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Saturday, July 19, 2014

Further Utterances of Sun Tzu

Further Utterances of Sun-Tzu

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If occupying moral
High ground
Build a bamboo
Hut
Suitable for gloating
And ride it out
With Sumatran coffee
And the London Times.

If handed an inferior
Glass of wine
At a peace negotiation
Thrust it defiantly
In the host's face
Dashing all hopes of peace
As he has dashed
Your hope for a good
Buzz,
Then overturn the
Buffet table and rape
His wife-
A chintzy host cannot
Be trusted.

When in Rome...

Duckwalk,

When in Indiana...

Cowtip,
And when in Tuscaloosa
Well, you know,
Stay at the beautiful
Downtown Hospitality Inn.
There are one-way mirrors
Behind the artwork
And the ice machine
Is broken,
But they gave me fifty

Bucks for the ad space.

(Sun Tzu doesn't
Actually endorse
The Hospitality Inn
Or this poem
But being dead
He's in a very
Weak tactical
Position
So fuck him). 
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