World Cup Match Cancelled When All 22 Players Fall Down Simultaneoulsy

The World Cup Match between Brazil and Columbia this morning was rescheduled for a later date when all twenty-two players simultaneously fell to the pitch and began feigning various injuries. 

"It reminded me of the worst days of The Killing Fields", said Killing Fields survivor turned World Cup official Pouk Zhang. "At first I thought at least seven of them from each team would get up so we could continue the match, but as it became apparent they were all intent, and content, to roll around on the ground like dishonest, petulant, whiny, plaintiff children, I had no choice but to cancel the match." 

As the crowd filtered out of the stadium the players continued to writhe around and stretch their arms out and curl their lips in plaintiff gestures towards Zhang, who had already had his dinner and was in his hotel room meditating.

The match will not be rescheduled, and has been declared a nil nil draw. 

Mommy. Charlie bit me.

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