Kolchak: The Night Stalker: They Are, They Have Been, They Will Be...

Received these wonderful, untouched VHS tapes in the mail Saturday. Got them for the price of postage. All twenty episodes of one of my favorite television shows of all time: Kolchak: The Night Stalker. Plus the televions movies that preceded the television show, The Night Stalker, and The Night Strangler. 

I decided to start my watching party tonight with "They Are, They Have Been, They Will Be...", and episode that aired on September 27, 1974. It's about aliens, but it's also intermingled with a story of Kolchak desperately trying to finish his reportig so he can get to the Cubs' World Series game, which he has tickets for.

Few television characters, maybe even only Hawkeye Pierce, are more beloved to me than Carl Kolchak. It is a shame there were only twenty episodes, but it's also a mini miracle there were twenty episodes. The special effects are never much more than comical, and intentionally so, but it all works in ways movies that have spent 100 million dollars on special effects never did. 

Dan Curtis, of Dark Shadows, had either produced or directed the two television movies that preceded the series, but was neither producer or director of any of the television episodes. 

It may take me several months to get through these with fantasy football season upon us, but hopefully I'll have time.  Pin It

Elvira Thriller Video Standee

I feel like this item might just be a myth, like the Monster's Genealogical Chart. 

Elvira Thriller Video Standee

"It was in an estate we bought out. He was a paper collector and had tons of movie, video posters, standees and magazines. He had video store and movie house connections and his son worked for Peaches record stores in the 70s and early 80s. That's about all I know on this item.

That's all I need to know. Maybe there's not another one of these in tact in the whole Universe.

If you don't own a video store in 1985 where the hell do you put something like this?

What lies behind the Elvira Thriller Video Standee? 

2026 Update: I sold this and my complete Thriller Video collection on Ebay a few years ago when I became a Zen Buddhist. I hope it all brings whoever bought it as much happiness as it brought me. But also that when the time is right they'll let it go and find its next destination. 

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Thriller Video: The Human Duplicators

The Human Duplicators is on Ebay for the first time in the four years that I have collected Thriller Videos hosted by Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. I have never seen the movie, and it's unlikely I'll watch it on this tape as the bidding is already at $76.00 with an entire week left in the auction.

The box design of the Human Duplicators is one of twoI know of that differ from the other 21 boxes in the series. The other is Natas:The Reflection. 

The back of the box isn't much different from the other videos in the series. This copy, the only one I've ever seen, appears to be in good shape. The movie is about an alien from a distant galaxy who comes to Earth to take over by creating an army of zombies shaped like pottery. I guess that description sounds kind of interesting, but I doubt I'll rush out and try to find a way to watch it after this. 

The movie was released in 1965, and I see Hugh Beaumont is in the cast. How awesome is that? Probably not 150-250 dollars worth, which is what I estimate this video will go for. 

The Human Duplicators on VHS

Between VHS and Beta versions, I have 21 of the 46 movies released on Thriller Video and hosted by Elvira. My favorites are The Monster Club and The Silent Scream. Many of them come from episodes of Hammer House of Horrors, which was a one hour television series, so they had to pad those with additional footage. The Silent Scream was actually one of those episodes, as well as The Thirteenth Reunion and Guardian of the Abyss. These are generally high quality stories and well-written and acted. 

Almost all the movies in this series are PG13 or tamer, and Elvira refused to host any movies that had graphic violence or animal cruelty, but as I type that I realize the topic of The Silent Scream was animal cruelty. Nonetheless, the movies are all rather harmless and good fun. The Monster Club is no doubt the most fun movie in the series. I'll write an update about this video in seven days.

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The Halloween III Of Outsider Poetry

I resisted the urge to buy a VHS copy of the original MCA Rainbow release of Halloween III and the 1987 re-release. It was a nice deal, and I'd really like these tapes, but they fall into an odd category as far as collecting or just having to watch. They're not collectible grade, per se, but they're too expensive to feel good about putting into a VCR I bought for $4.99 at Goodwill.

                Halloween 3, the only good Halloween movie.


Also, I'm never sure why anyone who talks about Halloween III has to explain that Michael Myers is not in the movie. For me it's the best Halloween movie of the series. Actually, it's the only one I've ever seen, or will see, because slasher movies don't appeal to me in the least.

This afternoon I'm trying to do a self-install of my ATT equipment so I can switch my internet over from Comcast, which I am ambivalent about because Comcast is one of the few services in my life that actually works for me, but they insist on charging me too much, and trying to creep that charge up to nearly $100/month every time I take my eyes off them. Still waiting for the lights to go green on my ATT router.

Jenny gave me a cone-shaped vacuum, and when I look at it charging it looks like a witch's hat.

I have two different brands of computers, and they have the delete button in different places, which causes me more trouble than it should any rational person who is able to adjust to his surroundings.

I have watched The Beast Must Die over twenty times in September, and I still can't tell you who the werewolf is. Last night I watched All the Colors of the Dark and Daughters of Satan and found both entertaining with the sound off. 

I organized all my outsider poems for the next book last week. It turns out I've only written about 75 poems in ten years. Most of them I didn't consider very good.

Several of my wide receivers in fantasy football have turned up lame this week. You never have enough wide receivers in fantasy football these days. I went with the wide receivers in early rounds strategy, and still they are dropping like flies and I get beaten by Marvin Jones. 

That's the way it is.

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The Halloween III Of Outsider Poetry

I resisted the urge to buy a VHS copy of the original MCA Rainbow release of Halloween III and the 1987 re-release. It was a nice deal, and I'd really like these tapes, but they fall into an odd category as far as collecting or just having to watch. They're not collectible grade, per se, but they're too expensive to feel good about putting into a VCR I bought for $4.99 at Goodwill.

Also, I'm never sure why anyone who talks about Halloween III has to explain that Michael Myers is not in the movie. For me it's the best Halloween movie of the series. Actually, it's the only one I've ever seen, or will see, because slasher movies don't appeal to me in the least.

This afternoon I'm trying to do a self-install of my ATT equipment so I can switch my internet over from Comcast, which I am ambivalent about because Comcast is one of the few services in my life that actually works for me, but they insist on charging me too much, and trying to creep that charge up to nearly $100/month every time I take my eyes off them. Still waiting for the lights to go green on my ATT router.

Jenny gave me a cone-shaped vacuum, and when I look at it charging it looks like a witch's hat.

I have two different brands of computers, and they have the delete button in different places, which causes me more trouble than it should any rational person who is able to adjust to his surroundings.

I have watched The Beast Must Die over twenty times in September, and I still can't tell you who the werewolf is. Last night I watched All the Colors of the Dark and Daughters of Satan and found both entertaining with the sound off. 

I organized all my outsider poems for the next book last week. It turns out I've only written about 75 poems in ten years. Most of them I didn't consider very good.

Several of my wide receivers in fantasy football have turned up lame this week. You never have enough wide receivers in fantasy football these days. I went with the wide receivers in early rounds strategy, and still they are dropping like flies and I get beaten by Marvin Jones. 

That's the way it is.

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Watching The Monster Club Again

The heat and humidity has returned in force, and I'm here at the apartment again for the night, and after five hours the air conditioner has barely put a dent in the humidity. It's enough to make a Shadmock whistle. 

We went to the fireworks display at Davis Park last night. Dragged Jack the entire way there in a wagon. At first he wasn't interested, but he ended up thinking it was awesome. We have to be vigilant about his ears because he has hearing loss in one ear. Had a taco, then we headed home. 

Watching The Monster Club again. tried to watch Dead Pit earlier, and I remember liking the colors in the past, but it was a German dubbed version and I couldn't get into it. I feel like I should read the book by R Chetwynd Hayes some time. Probably could be done in an evening. This is the only blog I'm working on today, and it has no point.

An unexpected thunderstorm would be nice. But I don't expect it.

If my mammy was a shammy, and my daddy was a raddy, I wonder what kind of monster I'll turn out to be. Saw some Thriller Video tapes on Ebay today that I don't have in my collection, but I'm strapped for cash. 

The Two Faces of Evil was the one I wanted the most

The Two Faces of Evil from Thriller Video

This is the only blog I still use the font Arial on. I was once quite fond of it. Now I'm largely indifferent. I really circled the drain this afternoon. All the gravity was sucked from my Universe and I almost went down the hole. But I held on. A few days ago I could have floated away, but I stayed here. I may have another cup of tea. 

oh, someone bought five copies of The Blood Dark Sea today, the book of outlaw poetry I just published, and I thought it was a mistake, so I contacted the customer and he said it was a legitimate order, he intends to give them away as gifts. A fine gift of a great book. 

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The Monster Club: There's a Two Drink Minimum, But That's Not the Bad News

The bad news is Count Dracula is the bartender!

Monsters rule OK.

I usually play The Monster Club on an almost continuous loop when I'm at the apartment. I have had the same VHS tape since 1991 when I made a copy of the Thriller Video at Video Outlet on Riverside Blvd. It was then a Taco Bell for a long time, and now, like every other building in Rockford, it is a payday lender. Also, Taco Bell was voted Rockford's #1 Mexican restaurant in a poll conducted by the biggest newspaper, and I couldn't make that up. 

Apparently this is a blog about the movie The Monster Club. This monster's genealogical chart I posted above is a holy grail collectible item for me as a Monster Club collector, and a couple of years ago I almost managed to buy it. I contacted the artist's wife, who also acts as his agent, and asked her if it still existed, and she said they had found it in the basement a few months previously after believing it was lost, and sold it to a private collector. I didn't have the heart to ask for how much because I probably would have been heart broken. She then added there were some original sketched of the ghouls used in the third story in the movie. I should have bought those, but I was so crestfallen that I had missed the chart by maybe weeks after so many years of no one caring that I went away in dejection.

I have the British quad poster, and the French poster, which has a snake on it even though there's no snake in the movie. The Thriller Video in Beta and VHS, the soundtrack, and the original book. Another item I recently passed on and regret is the graphic novel of the screenplay given to crew members at the wrap party. This one happened to be signed by Vincent Price. A bad choice not to buy it. We never remember the money, only the things we let slip away.

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NATAS: The Reflection On Thriller Video

Sort of a bummer of a night compared to expectations. Duke winning another NCAA championship is like the jockos winning in every 80's movie. Then I was slightly disappointed in the season finale of Better Call Saul. To make things worse, I lost out on an Ebay auction for the only copy of Thriller Video The Human Duplicators I've seen available in over a year. I actually came in just two seconds too early because I thought $105 would be enough to buy a VHS tape of a movie no one has ever seen or cared about. It wasn't. But it's not much fun even if you do win one of those auctions when you have to pay top of the line prices. Most of the fun of assembling my Thriller Video collection is the hunt, and I know I'll see this tape again, and probably not have to pay $105. Anyway, as soon as I lost that auction I had a feeling if I looked immediately I would find a previously unseen Thriller Video for sale. And I did. I found a copy of NATAS: The Reflection, a Thriller Video I haven't seen up for auction at all in the year I've been looking. The seller's pictures and description were vague, but it was only $18, and I knew if I didn't press the buy it now button immediately I'd regret it. So I took a chance at $18 without any real pictures or description that this could be a solid copy of...

Natas: The Reflection

It's one of two of the 24 Thriller Videos hosted by Elvira that don't have her prominently featured on the cover. The other one, ironically, is...

The Human Duplicators

So, maybe in a week or so when I get NATAS: The Reflection, I'll be pleasantly surprised that I scooped up one of the rarest Thriller Videos for a great price, but I don't expect that. Either way, I can use it as a placeholder until I get a stellar copy. Eventually, my ridiculous plan to collect all 24 Thriller Videos in both Beta and VHS will come to fruition, then I'll have to come up with some other idiotic way to waste my money and time. 

I'll post a picture of NATAS: The Reflection when I get it. 

Thriller Video ad circa 1985

April 23, 2015: It turns out the tape was a later release by Avid Video. Completely worthless, but in very nice condition. Mostly because no one has ever actually watched this movie. The hunt continues.

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Porky's II: The Next Day

I spent the first three hours of my birthday watching Porky's and Porky's II: The Next Day on VHS. Had a few Tab Colas, and a sleeve of snack-size Milky Way bars. It's hard for me to understand why these two movies have been relegated to the cultural dustbin of sleezy teenage comedies that became such a category in the 1980's. These might have been early examples of that supposed genre, but they certainly aren't encapsulated by it, and anyone who dismisses them as such is doing the movies, and themselves as a viewer, an injustice. Granted, the raunch flows freely, and is done deftly in these movies. But it's never the central focus of what is happening. These are movies about a time (the late 50's) and a place (Southern Florida) that the writers grew up in and knew very well. There's nothing generic, unlike most teenage sex comedies, about the place, the time, or the characters. These are teenagers who talk and think about sex because, that's what teenagers do. But they do other things. They encounter serious issues such as racism, anti-Semitic rednecks, sexism, and censorship in a place that was very much pre-civil rights. The language is salty and authentic. They say in what my opinion teenagers might have said at that time in that place. So, to see the movie dismissed by so many reviewers and remembered by many others for a few scenes that are funny, and iconic, but not representative of the movies altogether. I love these two movies.

Porky's and Porky's II: The Next Day on splendid VHS

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Zombiethon Wizard Video Counter Display

I am now the proud possessor of this Zombiethon Wizard Video Counter Display from 1986. This makes me happy for multiple reasons. The first and primary reason is I've been a zombie genre fan since I was twelve, and when I went to Rockford College there just weren't very many zombie movies on the shelf to rent at the video stores. But once place that did have a few was Dollar Video on Morsay Drive. In fact, they had this very movie, which I would rent at six month intervals over a period of four years until Dollar Video disappeared. 

The second reason is that I didn't know there was a movie poster for this movie at all because it was made for video. The interstitial zombie shorts directed by Ken Dixon are worth the watch in themself. 

Third, I love this poster. After finding a version of The Monster Club movie poster I didn't know existed a few weeks ago this really puts a cherry on my sundae. There are still a few posters I consider essential to my ongoing collection, but finding one I never even knew existed is even sweeter. Oh, here's the poster...

I never realized there was such a following for Wizard Video memorabilia until I found the competition for this beauty fierce.  Because I have never seen another one I had to have it. 

I say, old sport, I'll trade you this perfectly good white chick for your copy of  the Zombiethon poster.

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