All three movies I intend to review tonight for Zombie Logic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews were discovered by accident by allowing You Tube to run on from a movie I had originally intended to watch to the next movie on the queue. I've actually come to enjoy this process, as I'm discovering a great many movies I never even had heard of, seen listed on even the most obscure movie lists, or could have found myself. Tonight's second movie, which I am watching right now after it popped up after The Keeper, is called Terrifying Tales.
Terrifying Tales is not the best movie to watch if you're not really paying attention, because there are no coherent titles or transitions, and it appears to just be three student movies or ultra low budget independent productions strung together ala Tales From the Darkside or Tales From the Crypt. It also reminds me of a DVD collection I got at Best Buy titled Tomb of Terrors, which has 50 independent and student movies. Lot of hit and miss stuff, but all enjoyable if that's your thing, which it is.
I already forget if this is from story one or two of Terrifying Tales, or if the two blend together, because I was making popcorn and checking my fantasy football lineup. The first story was rather short, I remember (from an hour ago), and the second story was much better. I'm about to watch the third story. If you like anthology horror, this is a movie you'll enjoy if you are a completist. The quality is even lower than something like Escapes with Vincent Price.
Not sure I'd agree with this assessment of 1989's Terrifying Tales from Kevin Thomas of the L.A. Times, or if this is even a real review, but it's perfectly as time-filling as the movie I watched before it, and the movie I will most likely watch after it.
New information, if you're still interested: the three films are related in that they are all student movies by UCLA graduate students. Paul Bunnell's "Final Destination: Unknown" (copyrighted 1989), is actually horror. The other two; Armand Garabidian's "Ten Seconds to Countdown" (copyrighted 1986) and Ephraim Schwartz's "Creatures of Habit" (also 1986), are, respectively, science fiction and drama with only slight mystery components. -from The Bloody Pit of Horror
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A couple of jabronis steal a bunch of VHS tapes from a video store and beat it to this chick's apartment, where she just conveniently happens to be taking a shower. Jabroni number 1 informs her they will be watching the purloined videos at her place, then raids her refrigerator for some chicken and Budweiser. All three sit down on the couch and he puts in the video tape, which goes right into story number one, which involves...
A henpecked children's entertainer who is bullied by everyone, including his punk-ass stepson and his gang of droogies, is pushed too far when they destroy the puppets he loves. It's hard not to hope he won't use his puppets to get revenge on the lot of them. Is he crushed by a garbage truck because he's kind of a ninny and gets bitch-slapped by his stepson's girlfriend? Probably.
Let's face it, the only thing you're going to remember from the second story is this woman's awful glasses. We all know why you're here, anyway. The garden gnome story. So, go ahead and fast forward through story number two, a snoozer about an apparition on a bicycle, and let's get to story number 3.
Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes!
Don't mess with little old English ladies' garden gnomes, if you know what's good for you. Screamtime. An interesting aspect of this movie is the three shorts are all British, while the wrap-around story is shot in New York. Good ending. You won't hate me for recommending this if you're a horror fan.
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