I Made Dumb Things Today and Now I'm Going To Watch Vault of Horror and Drink a Final Cup of Tea

I made dumb things today and now I'm going to celebrate the dumb things I made by showing them to you and drinking a final cup of tea while I watch Vault of Horror. Then I'm going to go to Outsider Poetry and write a posy titled Outlaw Poetry emanates from Yul Brynner's crotch. 

The man in the first story of Vault of Horror has just been served a glass of blood he believes to be tomato juice after traveling to a remote village of vampires to kill his sister after their father dies. She returns to the restaurant later to partake of a glass of his blood after he is tapped like a beer barrel. One of the vampires says "A good year," which seems kind of funny. 

Gap-toothed British funnyman Terry-Thomas stars in the second story as a domineering jackass who bullies his wife until she buries a clawhammer in his skull and stores his parts meticulously in jars in the basement. Both stories I have described are far more tongue in cheek than gruesome, although when described they sound bloody and violent.

I see on the other screen, a television, i am also watching The Omega Man. I have a similar living arrangement to The Omega Man in that I live in an apartment above the third most dangerous neighborhood in America. Last night there were high speed polic chases and an ambulance showed up another time to cart someone away that was sitting on the bus stop bench under my window. 

Today in the mail I received Super Mario Kart, but I haven't gotten the generic clone game system I ordered so i can play it with Jack. 

The days are so fast I can't possibly apprehend them or even make a concentrated effort to describe what is happening. For him these days are going slowly because in the Psychology of Perception i learned youth seems very long and eventful because time to us is really the space between novel experiences. I can't wait for her to bury that claw hammer in this jerk's head so we can get to the Dr. Who story.

I left the design components I alluded to in the title on the other computer, the one I am watching Vault of Horror on. 

Did you see that Cubs game tonight? They are 8-1 now. When they resigned Dexter Fowler a couple of weeks before Spring Training I didn't think much of it because he didn't exactly blow the roof off my doors last season, but he's off to a roaring start, and with the Kyle Schwarber injury his return seems like a genius move. 

We reloaded the book of Outlaw Poetry we've been editing, The Blood Dark Sea, onto the BookMobile preflight apparatus, and if we approve the changes we made tomorrow I hear it could arrive by April 22nd. Actually, that is kind of a gruesome ending with the hammer and the body parts, but it's all in good fun.

Terry-Thomas really earned every ounce of this fate

I forgot the magic rope story comes before the Tom Baker story. It's a good one, too, and a cautionary tale not to "appropriate" the work of others. 

So, let me recap: time flies, Cubs, Omega Man, Dr. Who, Yul Brynner's crotch, goodnight

2026 Update..... ten years later, and pretty much what I still do with my life. I make dumb things and watch bad horror movies. 

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National Poetry Month Day 10: The Next Generation

Jenny uploaded the files of our latest Zombie Logic Press book, The Blood Dark Sea, to the printers database Friday afternoon, so it seems like barring any unforseen issues we'll be going to print next week. This will be the third book of someone else's I will have published. This book differs from my own poetry, and the other two I've published in that it is more of an Outlaw Poetry book. It's a genre I'm certainly familiar with, having come along during the last days of the small press revolution, where almost everyone wrote in a style vaguely imitative of Charles Bukowski, but what sets this book apart is the humor. I think it's going to turn out great. 

Will I ever finish another book of my own poetry? I have no idea. Google says these shorter blog posts are killing my search rankings. I need to find ways to get to 400 words. 

I could talk about Star Trek: The Next Generation on BBC America on Saturday night. It just started. Looks like a young Riker, so I'm guessing one of the earlier seasons.

Back to National Poetry Month. Oh, now Commander Data is sitting in the captain's chair. Wesley Crusher. He was one of the successful early celebrity bloggers. He also writes a lot about mental health issues. As do I. I am not, however, a successful early celebrity blogger. It has been quite a struggle. I have written for years about poetry, horror movies, politics, sports, and dozens of other issues, but nothing ever seems to find a larger audience. I now use my blog more of an extension of my memory as much as a device to communicate with others or reach a wider audience. 

All this cyber space is free. I suppose for a couple of weeks I should concentrate on writing longer, more focused pieces and see how Google likes that. I was right, season 2, episode 8. Riker is exchanged for a Clingon and things get testy between the Enterprise and the Clingon vessel. 

We went to Arby's for date night on Wednesday and I ordered a vanilla shake, then was slightly disappointed when I saw they had a mint shake available. I did enjoy my angus sandwich. They have the meats. 

The Cubs have started the season 4-1. I personally believed they should have traded Kyle Scwarber during the off season because he belongs in the American League. I think they will find a way to win without him, but what a disappointment to get hurt in the third game of the season. 

Miles O'Brien. A lot of early characters I remember but haven't seen in a long time. 

I don't think I'll ever get a Vista Cruiser Pin It

Noir Outlaw Poetry From Zombie Logic Press

Mostly I'm comfortable publishing Outsider Poetry, Surrealism, and Dada at Zombie Logic Press and Zombie Logic Review because I have what i think is an innate grasp of those styles, but the next book from Zombie Logic Press, which is now imminent, The Blood Dark Sea, is a marvelous book of Outlaw Poetry in the movie noir style. It was written by Rockford poet Dennis Gulling, a writer I have known a long time and respect very much. I'm proud to own the press that will be making the first full-length collection of this mostly unknown writer available to the world. I say mostly unknown because Dennis Gulling is mysterious, even to me. I know we both published in the small presses in the late 80's and early 90's. I know we did poetry readings together at Cafe Esperanto and other places in Rockford, and I know he is thought of by many in the know, including Mas Tequila editor Richard Vargas, and co-founder of the Outlaw Poetry movement and his mentor Todd Moore, as the region's finest poet. The poems in Blood Dark Sea will bear this high praise out. 

Just this week I got a quote for the first press run of the book, and I think if I have the energy and don't encounter any setbacks with my ongoing dental work I may have it ready for the printer as early as late next week. I can't resist just laying down a little taste here as a teaser, but also to motivate me because I know it's time for people to see this book. This is an example of the crime noir Outlaw Poetry I'm talking about.

VEGAS

The ring on her finger
Felt like a noose around her neck
So she threw everything she had
Into 3 garbage bags
While he was at work
And stuffed them into the trunk
Of her ‘78 Bonneville
Took the $200 he had in a roll
In the back of his underwear drawer
Along with the .22 automatic
He never bothered to register
She drove the 96 miles to Vegas
To work the $200 into something solid
Sold the gun for $20
At a gas station along the way
To some fat guy in a pickup truck
Loaded with old barbed wire and rusty pipes
When she hit the Golden Nugget
She didn’t even stop to check in
Turned the whole bankroll into chips
And made a beeline for the blackjack table
Walked away about an hour later
With $30 and a lump in her stomach
As hard as her luck
Didn’t have anywhere else to go
But back home
He didn’t say anything 
When she walked through the door
He didn’t have to
She went into the bedroom
Curled up on the bed
And stared a hole in the wall

Artwork from The Blood Dark Sea by Jenny Mathews

     What amazes me about the poems in this book is how elegantly they delve into some really dark subject matter, but are never once prurient, or mean-spirited. There's humanity to these observations of people in some pretty awful situations. But there's also a sense of humor and no judgement. These things happen. The Blood Dark Sea is the kind of book where you can be glad they are happening to someone else, and a poet with a keen eye and flair for the subject matter is there to report back, so to speak. 

I hope you'll check back in a few weeks when it is available. Pin It